QuakerInfo.com Forum

[Karen]

My husband and I are in the process of getting a divorce. How do Friends view divorce? How do Friends usually emotionally support divorcing couples?

[Karen]

I guess what I'm really asking is how, from a Quaker perspective, do I deal with the anger I'm feeling? In a broader sense, how do Quakers handle anger, whatever the cause?

[Kiahanie]

I'm not sure there is a way that Quakers handle anger. We're too individualistic for that, and I'm sure there are many different ways Friends view divorce. There is often a sense of failure or incompleteness when Friends married under the care of a Meeting dissolve their marriage.

Clearness committees help shed Light on a situation or condition, and have often been useful in instances of separation and divorce. But for the anger I would suggest professional counseling.

Peace and Light be with you and your husband in finding your ways through this time.
_________________
"There is a field out beyond right and wrong. I'll meet you there." --Jellaludin Rumi

[kevin roberts]

karen, in my yearly meeting, we maintain the office of overseer, who are people charged with the oversight and counsel of th emembers of the church. does your monthly meeting recognize any particular people with that gift? is there someone in your meeting who you can talk with about this matter?

on anger, we traditionally sometimes had people worship together in the company of an elder, overseer, or minister. it's treated delicately, and so i don't know how often it's still done.

[Karen]

Thank you, Kiahanie and Kevin for your wonderful suggestions. Yes, the Meeting I attend is aware of my impending divorce. I have had a clearness committee on this topic and it was very insightful.

I have come across a website that I have found very helpful. The link is below. They have seminars in many locations across the US. From what I understand the seminars are 8 weeks long. I've signed up for a group staring the first part of January.

http://www.divorcecare.org/

I have also signed up for their daily emails, which I really enjoy. (I'm on Day 18 out of 365.) Each one offers a topic to consider with a Bible quote at the end.

http://dailyemails.divorcecare.org/dailyemails/

With all of the different kinds of support, I am beginning to work through the anger. Thanks again.

[Karen]

Another resource I've come across is the following book:

"Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends" by Dr. Bruce Fisher and Dr. Robert Alberti

Here's a quote from the back of the book:

"If you're hurting after a divorce, you need this supportive step-by-step program for putting your life back together."

This book delivers on that promise. I highly recommend it.

Here is Amazon link:

http://www.amazon.com/Rebuilding-Relationship-Books-Divorce-Beyond/dp/1886230692/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1327811626&sr=8-1