QuakerInfo.com Forum

[Patrocles]

Now, I'm 54, and I suppose that's just old enough to reflect: How do I want to live if I'm really old?

I once read Muriel Spark's novel "Memento mori" which ends with an old woman lying bedridden in an infirmary and meditating over the "four last things" (which are, as far as I know, death, judgment, heaven and hell). That was obviously seen as a kind of role model for catholics.

Isn't it a bit more difficult for quakers? Quakerism is rather disinterested in afterlife and don't encourage speculations about that. On the other hand Quakerism encourages people to benevolent activities which , I suppose, appeals more to people who have superfluous energy, time or money (like the young and the rich).

Of course it will be nice to sit together with other people and hear about their activities. But I suppose that one gets a bit detached from that - not understanding the details of modern life and what it's all about. And one has to cope with the fact that one is no more the one to give but the one to take (and to take graciously). And on the other hand, one inevitably thinks about death and if there's something after that.

So - are their role models for quakers in old age? Are there, for example, diaries or biographies or other books which speak about those problems?

[Laurence17]

Yes, I'm 55, and aware of the aging process, which has long since kicked in--the way it does ! Ageing is a continuum. I realise there are more years behind me that ahead !

However, in my, only 3 years of Quaker Worship, i have been seeing that Quakers seem to cope well with the aging process and its vicissitudes; and also with being bereaved of a partner in life. This is a great encouragement to me.

I can also testify to the great benefits of MfW on my life and state of mind. i feel much more centred, optimistic and happy, I must say.
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Abwoon : divine progenitor, breathing mindfulness through poor in spirit and the resonating realm of ruach

[Shima K Gyoh]

Dear Patrocles,
While you wait for the literature you requested, you should also have responses from ordinary old Quakers. I am a Quaker, and an old man. Nobody can deny me that honour at the age of 67, especially as I do not live in Japan. The life expectancy in my country (Nigeria) is presently 52 years. I am obviously doing overtime. Though gratefully not yet disabled, I believe I still qualify for your “really old ages.”
It is correct to conclude that I am more likely to die within the next 10 years than a person who is 20. There is no certitude about it; it is only a statistical probability. Many parents have buried their children. Go to any graveyard, and you will find the graves of babies. Some were stillborn, meaning they did not live even for one day. Youth, therefore, does not insulate anyone from death, unfortunately. All Christian churches teach this, that we must keep our souls ready for death today while hoping to live as long as it pleases God.
If I have not been sure or convinced about life after death, it would not necessarily worry me now, any more than it did 30 years ago. Frankly, I often think it is a miracle that I am still alive, as people around me daily die from the activities that I also participate in—whizzing around in motor vehicles, flying in the clouds, even walking on the streets! Cancer has been striking people all around me—some younger, some older. Armed robbers attack and kill people in their homes and on the highways which I frequently use. Indeed the hazards of life anywhere are such that no one should legitimately shelve thoughts of what happens after they die on any grounds—if that is their priority.
I regard my dead loved ones as if they were still alive in another dimension, and I think of and sometimes speak to them. This only satisfies my emotional needs at particular times. I am not at all worried whether the hypothesis of life after death is true. I know that one’s world and even personality is made up of one’s memories. My loved ones are alive in my memories, and that is good enough.
This old Quakers has no greater problem with his fate concerning life after death than he has always had. I do not worry about it, and it has no adverse effect on my morality. I only look forward to satisfying that curiosity soon—when I die.
Shima K Gyoh.
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Ignorance is Darker than Night.